The Worst Critic

My sister in law posted a photo on her instagram account over the weekend and it had the best caption i've read in a long time. She talked about how after the picture was taken and she looked at it, she immediately started criticizing herself and listing off a bunch of reasons why she'd never post that picture online. Then she realized that was a terrible reason to not post a picture of a sweet moment with her little family. She mentioned that the things she says to and about herself? She would never say that to somebody else - so why is it okay to say it to herself? I loved that!

It's so, so hard to go through any social media feed and not compare your life to somebody else's. And even though we all say it all the time, it's still hard! But I think if we make a small effort, every day, we'll all feel a little bit better. I know there's a lot going around about women needing to support and love other women - but we also need to support and love ourselves, too!

So here's me, making an effort!

Over a year ago, I threw out my birth control, and Devin and I began trying to get pregnant. A few weeks later, my skin broke out worse than I had ever had (including my puberty years!) - and after the switch to no birth control, followed by pregnancy, followed by miscarriage, followed by another pregnancy - my skin hasn't seen much improvement and I have been so self conscious about it ever since. My hormone levels were all over the place and they took it out on my skin! I hate the way I look, I hate the acne scars on my face that never seem to go away, or even get covered by my foundation, and I hate that I am still breaking out on occasion. So it's hard for me to even be at home without makeup, because I am so self conscious about it - posting these pictures (even with a b&w filter!) is a big deal to me!

But I would never, ever, look at another girl with skin problems and tell her the things I tell myself as I put my makeup on in the morning! So... why do I say those things to myself? For every flaw I can find in myself, I could probably also find something cool or unique, if I cared to try! Couldn't we all? That's the point! What a waste of time and emotion to tear ourselves down like that.

We are our own worst critics. The time I spend standing in front of the mirror worrying about the tiny details of how I look? Yeah, other people probably won't even notice those things that I spend all day being self conscious about. Because guess what?! Nobody cares as much as you do, or as much as you think they do! And not in a mean way, that's just the way it is. It honestly makes me feel better!

And all the things we all know about social media, but tend to forget the second we see another post that gets a rise of envy out of us: nobody has a perfect life. Not your little sister, not your favorite fashion blogger, not even the celebs you follow. They don't.

But we don't use social media to showcase our flaws! How many selfies do you think that girl took before she got one she felt comfortable posting? And how long do you think she spent in a photography app editing that image before she posted it?! You think her house is always clean?! I doubt it, but I bet she spent all morning cleaning it, and was so happy and proud that she took a picture to document it. Those are the things happening in the moments before that picture is posted that we all do, but don't show. I know I'm that way, so why would I be the only one? I'm not! There's no way!

The point is... we need to be nice. To each other. And to ourselves.

Amen.