Motherhood

9 months (but really, it's 10. 10 months) of pregnancy gives you a lot of time to think. I've been thinking so much about the kind of mother I want to be. My opinions and ideas are already changing back and forth so much lately, so I know I won't be able to settle my mind and have a parenting plan in place before this baby gets here, but there are a few things I know without a doubt that I want to instill in all of my children, starting from the very beginning.

they are unconditionally loved | My kids aren't going to be perfect. They are going to make mistakes and upset me and disappoint me, and I know that's unavoidable. But I plan on making it very clear, for their whole lives, that I will always love them unconditionally. That they can always come to Devin and I, no matter what, and feel loved, regardless of circumstances or situations. I want to make sure I tell them every single day, at least once, that I love them. More than probably just about anyone ever will!

valuing marriage | I want to set an example for my kids of a healthy marriage. Devin and I have always focused on respect and service in our marriage, and I don't want that to ever change. I want our kids to see that we love each other, we work together, we respect each other, and we need each other. Devin and I fight, we do. But we don't raise our voices, or talk to each other degradingly, and I hope our kids notice that and it sticks with them throughout their lives, especially as they get married themselves. I hope they can look at us and see an example of a marriage they want to have some day.

family is most important | I know the days will come when my kids would rather be with their friends  than doing things as a family, but i hope that aside from that they still love their siblings and enjoy spending time together. I hope they look forward to family home evening and family vacations. i hope they know that as a family, we are a constant in each other's lives and we will always be here for each other as friends come and go. As Devin and I have gotten older, we've realized that our siblings are some of our very best friends, and I'm sure that's the way it will be when our kids grow up, too.

a safe home | I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom. i don't know when the time will come when that's possible for our family, but when it is, i want to make it my mission to turn my house into a home. a safe place where our kids feel loved and comfortable. i place they want to be. i want my home to be clean and bright and happy and warm, and i want them to take pride in that. i want them to love being home. i want them to contribute in making our house a home and do chores and help with meals, but I want our home to be ours. 

the gospel is central to our family | it's been hard for us as a couple to focus on the gospel and things like family home evening and scripture study, our lives just seem so inconsistent, that it's hard to nail down a schedule for things like that, but as our family grows, i want daily family prayer and scripture study to become a part of our routine. i want our kids to grow up studying the gospel, praying as a family, and individually, and attending church every week. i want them to understand how important and central the gospel is to our family and our life. i want them to gain their own testimonies and lead by example for others around them. i want them to know the love their Savior has for them, and I want them to feel confident as members of the church, and be proud of it. but i want them to gain that faith individually.

be nice | i just want to raise good people. generous, honest, courteous members of society that do good. i want them to be nice neighbors and loyal friends. i want my boys to be chivalrous and i want my girls to have class. i want them to get good grades. i want them to vote and be involved in their communities. i want them to be well rounded and educated. i want them to find hobbies they love, and make friends that last a lifetime. i want them to be the type of people that hold the door open for a stranger, or let someone with less items butt them in line at the grocery store. i just want them to be decent people.

hard work pays off | i really hope i don't raise lazy people. which will be a tough one, because i can be really lazy! i hope they work hard, and don't ever feel entitled. i hope they never expect people to do things for them, and i hope they aren't the kind of jerks that are always wanting free handouts. i hope they know that hard work pays off, and if they want something, they can get it, but it's going to take some effort. i hope they always understand that nothing worth having comes easily, and i hope that motivates them to achieve their goals and work toward big things. i know if they can develop this habit early on, it will have a positive effect on their entire life as they get older.

and the whole comparison thing | i am genuinely concerned about raising a child in the world today. it can be such a cruel place and it can make you feel so horrible about yourself. and i hope i can teach my kids to rise above that and focus on what truly matters. i know i can't shelter them from the world, but i hope i can teach them to take things out there lightly. i hope i raise bright, smart, thick-skinned kids who don't take crap from people and know their individual worth. and i hope other people can see that in them, and respect their self confidence.