Six Months In

My daughter is coming up on six months, and I'm getting nostalgic about the newborn baby she used to be for the first time. These six months went by fast, but not in a way where I feel like they've slipped through my fingers. I've soaked up every second, I really have. But it did go fast. 

She's hitting all kinds of milestones lately, and both Devin and I agree that in the past week alone, she has grown up SO much. She is engaging with us in ways she never has, and she just seems so much more observant and aware of everything going on around her. She's getting more curious every day, and she's getting so strong. It's hard to believe how much development happens so quickly. Her personality is really starting to show, and it's the most incredible thing to watch her go from a tiny baby, to a tiny person.

My stretch marks have faded, my hips have widened and my stomach has what seems to be an eternal pooch, and even though I'm in this new and unfamiliar body - one I'm growingly self-conscious in - I've grown so confident in my role as a mother. More confident in myself than I think I've ever been. I have found so much of myself in raising Maylin. I had a sneaking suspicion from a very young age that motherhood was my calling in life, and I'm so glad to have found that to be true. I've never felt more fulfilled. I've never felt more proud of myself. More sure of myself. More happy.

I've grown to love my husband in so many more ways - fatherhood looks so spectacular on him. When you have a baby, the dynamic of your marriage shifts. We are better spouses, better friends and better parents, because we are doing this with each other. We are on a whole new level, and it's been so great for us. We are more in sync than I think we've ever been.

As I was pregnant, I most often heard people talk about how tough parenthood was. And I'm not saying those people are wrong, because it's so hard. And Maylin is a really great kid, so I can't imagine how much harder it would be if she weren't - and maybe it's just because it's so fun and so rewarding and fulfilling - but it doesn't feel hard. It's way too fun to worry about how hard it is.

Six months in and I'm feeling on top of the world. I'm feeling like I could have 11 more babies. But even in just these first six months, I've learned how quickly and how easily this seems to ebb and flow. And I know it won't be long before I'm having another moment where I feel defeated, clueless and exhausted. But I think that's what makes it so beautiful. Motherhood wouldn't be as good as it is if it weren't hard sometimes, too. The reward wouldn't be as sweet. The moments wouldn't be as cherished.